If laughter truly is the best medicine, then Sir Terry Pratchett must have been the finest doctor of all time. The late, great English author, revered for his fantastical Discworld series, possessed a rare talent for weaving humor, satire, and wisdom into every word he penned. From mischievous wizards to clever witches, Pratchett’s characters captivate readers with their witty banter and clever observations on life. In this article, we invite you on a delightful journey through the pages of Pratchett’s imagination, as we present 50 entertaining Terry Pratchett quotes that are bound to leave you chuckling and pondering.
A bustling street in the city of Ankh-Morpork, filled with a colorful array of characters, from vampires to trolls, and even the occasional talking animal. Suddenly, a figure emerges from the crowd, wearing a pointy hat and holding a staff. It’s none other than Rincewind, the wizard whose spellcasting skills are as reliable as a damp squib. As he stumbles upon a magical creature, he utters one of Pratchett’s famous lines: “Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon — he’d run them all.” This quote not only showcases Pratchett’s sharp wit but also highlights his ability to poke fun at societal stereotypes through his characters. As we delve into 50 of Pratchett’s most entertaining quotes, you’ll discover a world where fantasy meets humor, where laughter is as abundant as magic, and where Terry Pratchett’s words continue to enchant readers far and wide.
1. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
2. “The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.”
3. “The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it.”
4. “Give a man a fire, and he’s warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’s warm for the rest of his life.”
5. “The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”
6. “It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.”
7. “Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
8. “In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
9. “Inside every sane person, there’s a madman struggling to get out.”
10. “The trouble with being a god is that you’ve got no one to pray to.”
11. “It’s not enough to be able to pick up a sword. You have to know which end to poke into the enemy.”
12. “If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are.”
13. “Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”
14. “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
15. “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
16. “The enemy isn’t men, or women, it’s bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid.”
17. “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.”
18. “Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
19. “If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story.”
20. “In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.”
21. “Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”
22. “Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”
23. “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH,’ the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry.”
24. “It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end.”
25. “Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.”
26. “The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”
27. “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”
28. “Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”
29. “Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.”
30. “If you have enough book space, I don’t want to talk to you.”
31. “The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it’s as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.”
32. “Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.”
33. “The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.”
34. “Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
35. “It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.”
36. “The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.”
37. “If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
38. “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
39. “The world is full of monsters with friendly faces.”
40. “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
41. “I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”
42. “The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.”
43. “Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
44. “The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”
45. “Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”
46. “The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid.”
47. “If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are.”
48. “The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.”
49. “Inside every sane person, there's a madman struggling to get out.”
50. “The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.”
These 50 quotes give you a taste of Terry Pratchett's brilliant wit and humor, showcasing his unique ability to blend insightful observations with delightful absurdity. Enjoy the journey through the mind of a literary legend and let these quotes bring a smile to your face.
