Self-confidence is the foundation of happiness and success, and when people believe in themselves, they're more apt to achieve their goals and dreams. However, it's not easy to build self-confidence. If you're lacking in confidence, it takes a concerted effort to grow your belief in yourself.
One way to build self-confidence is to change the way you look at things in your life and your personal qualities, such as your strengths and weaknesses. In fact, that very word (weaknesses) can be re-phrased and called “areas of opportunity” for growth.
But how do you change the way you look at things when you're living inside your own head every minute of every day? By changing the narrative that takes place inside your mind.
Why Self-Confidence Is Important
Self-confidence is the belief a person has in their abilities and self-worth. When you're confident, you're more likely to be comfortable taking risks, pursuing dreams, and overcoming challenges.
Additionally, self-confidence plays a huge role in achievement. People who believe in themselves and have self-confidence are more open to trying new things and therefore experiencing new opportunities and accomplishments.
Everyone experiences setbacks in life. It's just a part of the journey. However, people with self-confidence can better bounce back from mistakes and failures, knowing that it's not something innately wrong with them. Self-confident people understand that by looking at a situation from a different perspective, they can change the outcome the next time they try.
How Books on Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence Can Help
Books to improve self confidence give you practical tips and techniques that will help you overcome your insecurities, fears, and doubts. Moreover, these books can teach you how to alter your mindset and change the narrative that runs constantly inside your mind.
Developing a growth mindset isn't easy for people who have a fixed mindset, but like all things, a growth mindset can be learned. Reading books to learn how to boost self confidence is a good idea for anyone who wants to grow in their personal life or career.
12 Books on Self-Confidence
1. The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know – Katty Kay, Claire Shipman
In this book, the authors use their own life experiences to share practical advice with readers, along with the life experiences of other prominent women in business, media, and politics. They combine their ideas with research in behavior, genetics, gender, and cognition to share self-confidence advice with women.
The authors write that human beings can change their brains in ways that affect behavior and thoughts, and this can happen at any age. When we put in the diligent effort, we can make the choice to expand our self-confidence.
This isn't a touchy-feely book about how and why women should have more self-confidence. Rather, it's a powerful tome that provides people with tools that can help them grow naturally more confident.
2. Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny! – Tony Robbins
Tony Robbins is one of the early gurus who talked about the importance of self-confidence, and his book has been a best seller for years. Robbins teaches that everyone can take control of their lives and make changes, and this starts with taking control of our emotions, both the good ones and the bad ones.
In this book, Robbins demonstrates that values, beliefs, and rules affect our behaviors. Moreover, Robbins links pleasure and pain as the reasons people make decisions. If someone is struggling with weight loss but links pleasure to enjoying unhealthy food and links pain to working out, their pleasure and pain are keeping them trapped in a state they're trying to escape.
Robbins also draws attention to how our everyday vocabulary can affect how we feel. Using a metaphor such as “I hit a brick wall” is a prompt to say, “I'm climbing over a brick wall.”
3. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges – Amy Cuddy
Author Ann Cuddy became well-known after a TED Talk in 2012 where she talked about body language. Her TED Talk is one of the most viewed TED talks in history, and this lady knows what she's talking about.
Cuddy maintains that while most of us know that body language is important, few of us recognize how important it is to get it right. Not only does body language communicate to other people that we're confident (or not), but our body language also signals back to us.
In Cuddy's book, you'll learn about the mind-body connection that helps you be more aware of how your body language shapes who you are and how other people perceive you.
4. What to Say When you Talk To Yourself – Shad Helmstetter
Shad Helmstetter's book is a comprehensive guide to mastering the art of self-talk. The author suggests that upgrading our self-programming systems can be overhauled when we replace our self-talk with more productive and effective inner dialogue.
In this book, readers can learn that thoughts are electrical impulses that turn into actions. Also, to create the lives we want, we have to take a step back and work to reprogram our minds.
Helmstetter believes that everyone we are comes from our inner dialogue, which no one but us can hear. Talking more positively to ourselves and treating ourselves as well as we treat others is a first step to increased self-confidence.
5. Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway – Susan Jeffers
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. teaches us in her book that we have two choices every day: give in to the fears we feel or take action that will help us overcome them. Individuals who have low self-confidence can feel fear in scenarios that aren't actually dangerous. For example, approaching a person to have a conversation can be scary, or feeling the urge to speak up in a business meeting.
In these types of situations, there is no danger, but uncertainty and doubt can creep in and keep people from taking the action they need to take to find success. Jeffers suggests that we can manage our fears so that they no longer have the power to sabotage our attempts to change and grow. When we act, we develop a resilience muscle that grows stronger the more we use it.
Understanding where fears come from, why they exist in the first place, and which triggers influence them can make all the difference in tackling them.
6. The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt – Russ Harris, Steven Hayes Ph.D.
This book by Russ Harris explains that the biggest obstacle that stops most people from living the life of their dreams is the “monkey mind.” What this means is that all day long, our minds are busy coming up with many different reasons why we'll never achieve our dreams. Worse, the monkey mind convinces us that we shouldn't even try.
Harris outlines a simple but effective strategy to control mental chatter so that you can create a more positive dialogue with yourself in your mind. While Harris agrees that it's not possible to completely stop all negative thoughts, we do have control over which thoughts we listen to and which we choose to ignore or set aside.
Reading this book will teach you practical ways to become more present and mindful in everyday life. Equally important, you'll have a framework that will help you turn negative thoughts into minor annoyances. Thoughts are nothing but small blips on our inner radar, and they should be relegated to that.
Once you learn how to quiet the monkey mind, you can build the foundation to become the confident person you've always wanted to be.
7. Ultimate Confidence: The Secrets to Feeling Great About Yourself Every Day – Marisa Peer
Marisa Peer's program is an easy way to maximize your potential and change your outlook on life. Her book will teach you how to change negative thought patterns and break the habits that hold you back.
With this book, you get actionable steps that can help you regain your confidence even if you feel like you're starting all over again. The book contains valuable information about specific steps you can take, and the pages are loaded with exercises.
8. The Art Of Extraordinary Confidence: Your Ultimate Path To Love, Wealth, And Freedom – Dr. Aziz Gazipura Psy.D.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura's main theme in this best-selling book is that to develop extraordinary self-confidence, people need to stay close to their fear and discomfort. In short, if you're feeling fear and discomfort, you're in the right place.
The question Gazipura asks is, “If I had all the confidence in the world, what would I do?” Once you know the answer to that question, you can start to imagine and design the life of your dreams that coincides with your deepest values.
According to Gazipura, our brains conjure up stories that convince us to believe in them. These stories try to tell us who we are, even if they have no basis in reality. Much of our inner dialogue comes from the words others have said to us in our lives, and with this book, you have the blueprint to build true confidence.
9. Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence – Amy Alkon
Most human beings default to low-value behaviors and bad habits that impact our success and our self-confidence. This book will show you how to tackle the things that are stopping you from achieving greatness.
In her book, Alkon pulls together concepts from behavioral psychology, neuroscience, and evolutionary psychology and makes them simple to understand and digest. Our brains hold us back from opportunities and achievement more than any foe ever can, and recognizing that is the first step to overcoming barriers.
This book demonstrates how our brains hold us back, and the author goes into detail about the science behind why fear has such a profound impact on our lives.
10. The Unlimited Self: Destroy Limiting Beliefs, Uncover Inner Greatness, and Live the Good Life – Jonathan Heston
Everyone is vulnerable to limiting beliefs, and Jonathan Heston's book teaches you how to conquer them. Everyone has things they want to accomplish in life, but something that gets in the way of our goals is our perception of other people, the outside world, and our own capabilities.
This book aims to shatter limiting beliefs to help you realize that you're wasting too much of your true potential. A huge part of Heston's book deals with accountability, and the author believes that facing the reality of what's stopping you from achieving your potential is the start of change.
The first step is to identify which limiting beliefs are holding you back in every area of your life. Then, you work through a plan to shatter these limiting beliefs.
11. The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage – Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins was facing bankruptcy, surviving in a spiraling marriage, borderline alcoholism, and barely holding her family together. Then one day, she saw a rocket launch and heard the countdown from five to one. She realized that she could use this countdown to get herself out of bed in the morning. From there, her method propelled her to success in every area of her life.
With The Rule, Robbins became a best-selling author and a multimillionaire. She saved her marriage, her health, and her family, and is living the life of her dreams. Her short, easy-to-read book can propel you to tackle the things that hold you back.
The 5-second countdown serves a neurological purpose. In the book, Robbins explains that when you count down, you get out of auto-pilot mode and activate your prefrontal cortex, which then tells your brain to make decisions and start moving toward goals.
12. The Self Confidence Workbook: A Guide to Overcoming Self-Doubt and Improving Self-Esteem – Barbra Markway PhD and Celia Ampel
In this book, readers glean practical and accessible strategies that will help them bring out the best versions of themselves. Everyone encounters land mines in relationships, health, and work, and our self-confidence takes hits every single day. However, with practice, we can all become better at navigating these land mines.
This program includes a five-step program that starts with goal setting and uses evidence-based strategies to foster mindfulness, acceptance, and self-compassion.
